Sunday, December 16, 2012
Monday, October 1, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Friday, August 31, 2012
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Loving where I am but attempting to get back to what I know....
......is what's been heavy on my mind. I will start by saying, I don't want to sound ungrateful. I'm not. Everyday I am thankful for the sea, the palms, my love, our house, our little part of this amazing island....I am blessed to have this opportunity to open my own business doing what I love...and believe me, I am excited. Super excited.
I have been back in Panama for about a week after a 3 week hiatus in the states. While at home, I caught up on tv I haven't been able to watch here (most notably GLEE, Gossip Girl & that cancelled broadway show SMASH), made a little bit of money and went through about a trigillion old pictures. I started feeling super sentimental for my "old" life, the part of my life that was not that long ago really....4 months? It seemed so far away. So not a part of this "new", different life......
I miss auditioning. I miss the anticipation of a call from my agent. I miss singing in shitty bars and at ridiculous corporate events. I miss my friends. I miss la. I miss performing. I miss the possibility...... that's what it is...the "possibility" of something....in la you never know what's around the corner. There, my life could change in a day. Just like that, my dreams could come true. Who knows....
Now don't get me wrong, I am living a dream of mine. Owning a home on a caribbean island and having my own business is a huge accomplishment. But with that accomplishment comes another dream being pushed to the side. Temporarily. I have to keep telling myself that. It's only temporary.
I've never been the type of person that could sit still. I'm always on the go and this feeling of permanence is totally fucking with me. I love it here but I have other dreams as well. This is not my "Be all and end all" (That would be Broadway and I am perfect for Rock of Ages) I mean, a girl can have more than one dream right? I seriously had a little panic attack last night. I need to be performing. I need to be on stage. It might sound silly to some but other performers understand....it's a feeling like no other. It's what I have known for so long and now, it's gone. It's not really a part of my life. I'm dealing with the loss of it. I'm acknowledging that I need it and that as much as I love this life, I can't live without it.Instead I'm in a kitchen cooking. So different.
So how do I reconcile my feelings and desires to what I'm living? My hope is that my business is successful and I can go back and forth. Live both parts of me. I mean no one really has just one part of them anyway right? The island loving, bikini wearing, no tv having self is just as much a part of me as the city girl who loves shoes, watching tv and broadway musicals. Maybe I'll just start a theatre company here and teach local kids the songs from RENT. hahahahahha .....I'll play Maureen, naturally :) ! Ooooooooo maybe I'll perform on my deck to the palm trees the songs of Les Miz. I've always wanted to play Eponine. Maybe when I'm in the city, I'll take a break from my television and take off my stilettos and go barefoot....I seriously feel like 2 different people. It's so strange. I'll tell you one thing....it does make me excited to go home. And by "home" I mean which ever place I have not been living. Hopefully my hiatus from Los Angeles won't be too long annnnnnnnnnnnd hopefully I will learn to enjoy where I am at this moment. It's peaceful here and I am happy. Now I must go dig around in the dirt and plant some beautiful basil I am growing. I'll listen to some showtunes as I do it :)
I have been back in Panama for about a week after a 3 week hiatus in the states. While at home, I caught up on tv I haven't been able to watch here (most notably GLEE, Gossip Girl & that cancelled broadway show SMASH), made a little bit of money and went through about a trigillion old pictures. I started feeling super sentimental for my "old" life, the part of my life that was not that long ago really....4 months? It seemed so far away. So not a part of this "new", different life......
I miss auditioning. I miss the anticipation of a call from my agent. I miss singing in shitty bars and at ridiculous corporate events. I miss my friends. I miss la. I miss performing. I miss the possibility...... that's what it is...the "possibility" of something....in la you never know what's around the corner. There, my life could change in a day. Just like that, my dreams could come true. Who knows....
Now don't get me wrong, I am living a dream of mine. Owning a home on a caribbean island and having my own business is a huge accomplishment. But with that accomplishment comes another dream being pushed to the side. Temporarily. I have to keep telling myself that. It's only temporary.
I've never been the type of person that could sit still. I'm always on the go and this feeling of permanence is totally fucking with me. I love it here but I have other dreams as well. This is not my "Be all and end all" (That would be Broadway and I am perfect for Rock of Ages) I mean, a girl can have more than one dream right? I seriously had a little panic attack last night. I need to be performing. I need to be on stage. It might sound silly to some but other performers understand....it's a feeling like no other. It's what I have known for so long and now, it's gone. It's not really a part of my life. I'm dealing with the loss of it. I'm acknowledging that I need it and that as much as I love this life, I can't live without it.Instead I'm in a kitchen cooking. So different.
So how do I reconcile my feelings and desires to what I'm living? My hope is that my business is successful and I can go back and forth. Live both parts of me. I mean no one really has just one part of them anyway right? The island loving, bikini wearing, no tv having self is just as much a part of me as the city girl who loves shoes, watching tv and broadway musicals. Maybe I'll just start a theatre company here and teach local kids the songs from RENT. hahahahahha .....I'll play Maureen, naturally :) ! Ooooooooo maybe I'll perform on my deck to the palm trees the songs of Les Miz. I've always wanted to play Eponine. Maybe when I'm in the city, I'll take a break from my television and take off my stilettos and go barefoot....I seriously feel like 2 different people. It's so strange. I'll tell you one thing....it does make me excited to go home. And by "home" I mean which ever place I have not been living. Hopefully my hiatus from Los Angeles won't be too long annnnnnnnnnnnd hopefully I will learn to enjoy where I am at this moment. It's peaceful here and I am happy. Now I must go dig around in the dirt and plant some beautiful basil I am growing. I'll listen to some showtunes as I do it :)
Thursday, July 26, 2012
My prawns are bigger than yours....
We had green shrimp curry one night, pineapple habanero prawns another, and then there were 4 left....
I had never made a seafood bisque so why not try. I had the necessary items on hand...heavy cream, check....crushed tomatoes, check....stock, check (I made a stock from the lobster shells in the previous post) and prawns bigger than my ass.
Not hard folks and so delicious. I threw the tomatoes in the cuisinart to break them down a bit, added them to the simmering stock and seasoned with salt, pepper, and a little cayenne. Next I added the cream (and the calories, unforch but who the hell cares) Cream is delicious. I was supposed to add some brandy but I didn't have any so I skipped the booze part. Apparently brandy doesn't exist here. No biggie. I had marinated the shrimp in the shells with olive oil, garlic and red chili flakes. I then sauteed them just shy of pink bc they will continue to cook in the hot soup.
When the flavors of the bisque were where I wanted them, I added a touch of butter. Two prawns were cut up and I left two whole for garnish. I placed the cut up pieces on the bottom on the bowl and poured the soup around the pile. Then the whole prawn sat on top and it looked lovely I might add.
It tasted like it was made in a restaurant. I swear the lobster stock made all the difference. We had leftovers the next day and leftovers after that but we were all bisqued out.......SOOOOO I tranformed the 2 day old soup (soup gets even more yummy after a day) into something else.....next post please!
Oh and BTW ....that's homemade bread. Check out Jim Lahey's book. I'll do a post on it.
Island Lobster Dinner
Here in Bocas it isn't uncommon for a fisherman to just come to your door and ask you if you'd like to look at his catch. It's pretty awesome actually. A few days ago, we had a local guy, Michael, ask us if we wanted any lobster. He had 4 (3lb) lovelies at a dollar a pound. Yep, a dollar a pound. We bought two. Dinner!
I also incorporated some fresh coconuts from our yard into the dish. Not too shabby.....
I also incorporated some fresh coconuts from our yard into the dish. Not too shabby.....
Sunday, July 1, 2012
The Pixies
Finally edited a little bit of the show back in November together....I have loved them since I was a teenager. So amazing live!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
My life in Panama so far...
Well, it's been almost a week. So far nothing is really moving smoothly and honestly why am I surprised? :) This is Panama.
On the plus side we are staying in a lovely little house on a hill overlooking the jungle. Birds are everywhere and I can hear the monkeys from the deck of the screened in porch. Because of a typo in the bank contract we can't get in our house quite yet so that is really frustrating. Our architect, Dustin, is here, attempting to get some work done although the woman we are buying the house from is making this super difficult for everyone. We all want the same thing and you would think she would want to work with us instead of against us. It's a bummer. Hopefully it will all get sorted in the next week or so and we won't have to deal with her negativity. The container arrives on April 23 so we MUST close on the house by then. Fingers, toes and every body part is crossed.
My amazing friend Sorah arrives next week and I'm sure there will be many drinks in my future. Perhaps even a night of drunkenly falling off barstools. I think I could use that.
Yesterday, Dustin and I spent our Easter Sunday at 3 different bars on the water, drinking fruity, rum filled beverages. It was really terrible ;) Can't wait to do it again.
Since I do have a buncha down time right now, I fear I may do it everyday.
I have none of my cooking tools, books, notes etc to start getting the menu down....I'll have all that with the arrival of the container. I've scouted out the local fish sellers, know whats available at the markets but still would like to talk to some local farmers about produce. All in time I guess......
Soon enough I will start making travel videos from here! I have so many fun things to put on video, just wait people, my own Bocas travel show! In the meantime, I eat. I write. I lounge in the hammock. I go to bed at 9pm. Plenty of work to come soon enough, though.
Keep checking back now that I'm starting to adjust. This hot, beautiful, no makeup, frizzy haired life. Once we move in to our house and the container comes, we will have many videos for all 5 of you to enjoy! Lots of documenting to be done.
Now, I must walk down the street to enroll myself in the Spanish school. I can't continue to be the ignorant American that can't communicate. I hate it.
Adios for now :)
On the plus side we are staying in a lovely little house on a hill overlooking the jungle. Birds are everywhere and I can hear the monkeys from the deck of the screened in porch. Because of a typo in the bank contract we can't get in our house quite yet so that is really frustrating. Our architect, Dustin, is here, attempting to get some work done although the woman we are buying the house from is making this super difficult for everyone. We all want the same thing and you would think she would want to work with us instead of against us. It's a bummer. Hopefully it will all get sorted in the next week or so and we won't have to deal with her negativity. The container arrives on April 23 so we MUST close on the house by then. Fingers, toes and every body part is crossed.
My amazing friend Sorah arrives next week and I'm sure there will be many drinks in my future. Perhaps even a night of drunkenly falling off barstools. I think I could use that.
Yesterday, Dustin and I spent our Easter Sunday at 3 different bars on the water, drinking fruity, rum filled beverages. It was really terrible ;) Can't wait to do it again.
Since I do have a buncha down time right now, I fear I may do it everyday.
I have none of my cooking tools, books, notes etc to start getting the menu down....I'll have all that with the arrival of the container. I've scouted out the local fish sellers, know whats available at the markets but still would like to talk to some local farmers about produce. All in time I guess......
Soon enough I will start making travel videos from here! I have so many fun things to put on video, just wait people, my own Bocas travel show! In the meantime, I eat. I write. I lounge in the hammock. I go to bed at 9pm. Plenty of work to come soon enough, though.
Keep checking back now that I'm starting to adjust. This hot, beautiful, no makeup, frizzy haired life. Once we move in to our house and the container comes, we will have many videos for all 5 of you to enjoy! Lots of documenting to be done.
Now, I must walk down the street to enroll myself in the Spanish school. I can't continue to be the ignorant American that can't communicate. I hate it.
Adios for now :)
Monday, April 2, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
One of the best things I've ever eaten.....khao soi
If you read my blog, then you have probably read this. I recently made a video about these noodles, that good, friends. Check it out.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Sunny Spot Venice
As you all know, I am trying to hone my caribbean cooking skilllllzzzz. One of my fav neighborhood joints is called Sunny Spot. Roy Choi, the man behind the Kogi food truck phenomenon, has opened a restaurant that draws inspiration from the caribbean. The menu is pretty much perfect and yes, I intend to steal from it. The menu is full of dishes that make me feel like I'm on vacation including plantains, jerked goat, a pork chop marinated in red stripe, prawns in a perfect habanero sauce.....so yummy. The cocktails pair perfectly with the food and when I close my eyes, the flavors really conjure up that last trip I took to a tropical locale. Heaven.
Here are some pics from a recent visit......and yes, that's my pal Jordan, who until his recent move to Oz was a bartender extraordinaire at Sunny Spot.
Here are some pics from a recent visit......and yes, that's my pal Jordan, who until his recent move to Oz was a bartender extraordinaire at Sunny Spot.
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| Squid with passion fruit |
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| Fried pigs feet |
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| Some of the tastiest prawns ever |
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| Red Stripe Pork chop |
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| goat that just melts in your mouth Sunny Spot 822 Washington Blvd Venice, Ca 90292 www.sunnyspotvenice.com |
Monday, February 6, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
My trip to England..... visiting my college in Devon
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| Totnes, 2011 |
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| Totnes 1998 A few months ago, I decided on a whim to go to England. Dartington College of Arts was having a reunion for the theatre class I was a part of for a semester in 1998. I did not have the $900 for a last minute ticket but I HAD to go. I just had to. I had to go back. Had to see it again. Refresh some memories to remind me of how different I am now. |
Soooo, even though I have been to England since I lived there, I had not been back to my school. Recently the school moved its campus and I realized this might be the last time to see the campus as it was when I lived there.
I had a hard time at first at Dartington. It was my first time out of the country and I really didn't understand what I was getting myself into. The school is in Totnes, Devon. A two hour train ride away from London. It's in the countryside and kind of isolated. Totnes is beautiful, but for me at the time, it was oppressive. It rained constantly. Dreary. Gray. I was a 40 minute walk to "town", a very tiny town with one main or "high" street. I didn't really know anyone and my tiny room was like a cell. I didn't yet know how to cook. The people I lived in the house with weren't very friendly. The theatre course was totally unlike anything I had ever studied; movement based theatre, more rooted in performance art than what I knew. In my studies, we read a script, broke it down, developed a character....not here. We were encouraged to scream and run and that was art. I found it pretentious. Maybe my mind was just not open. Now, I see it helped make me a less inhibited person but then....then I was like, "What the hell is this crap? I don't need this, I'm going to Paris for the weekend." So, I didn't pay much attention to my classes or studies. I did the minimum to get by. I wanted out. I was in Europe so I might as well see it. And I'm so happy I did.
Being in England in 1998, a junior in college, 20 years old.....wow. I see now that this is when I really realized I loved to travel. NEEDED to travel. Seeing Paris for the first time was indescribable, the bread, OH the BREAD, the buildings, the romance of it all! Going to Amsterdam and walking along the canals with a church on one side and a brothel on the other blew my 20 year old mind. The ruins dominating everything in Rome made me feel so small, like I had much more to see, that up until now, my world had been so very limited. These trips were what I needed. They gave me perspective. I would come back to my school after my little trips and see just how beautiful it was where I lived and how lucky I was to be in that place.
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| Me, 1998 on campus |
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| Me, 2011 Campus |
I eventually met amazing people who I am still friends with & I hold them very dear to my heart. They helped bring me out of my gloom. Helped me see where I was and how special it is. My biggest reason for going back was that I just felt like for most of my time there, I wasn't present enough. I spent two months waiting out my time, wanting to go home.....now, of course, I wish I had taken more advantage of it. Fortunately, I did get to. My last two months at the school were amazing and I needed to go back. So I went on a whim and some airline miles.....
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| London |
The town of Totnes is ridiculously cute. It's a typical English village with pubs everywhere. Everything is old. Really old. A pub from the 1400s? Crazy. The high street is filled with shops and restaurants....it looked exactly the same and a surge of old feeling and memories came back. The same pubs were there, some of the same restaurants and shops.....like nothing had changed in that tiny town. Waiting for me to come back......I was present. I think I cried everyday I was there ;) I hate that I took it for granted but glad I realized it while I still had time. Walking the gorgeous campus was overwhelmingly emotional for me. Everything that felt gloomy then made me so happy now. Without that period in my life, as cliche as it sounds, I wouldn't be me. I just wouldn't. I am such a different person now, a stronger, more educated, more worldly, grateful person who is living an amazing life. I'm so thankful I got to go back.
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| Gerry 2011 High Street |
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| John & Gerry, the friends that brought me outta the gloom. Forever thankful. |
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| Great Hall 2011 |
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| Campus Grounds |
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| Totnes, 2011 |
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| Path to my classes |
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| Campus 2011 |
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| Me, 1998 Campus |
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| Dorms |
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| What used to be our campus pub, The Rat & the Emu. So sad the inside is gutted. |
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| Me, Gerry, our campus 2011 |
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| Totnes 2011 |
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Cooking on the East Coast....
While I was visiting the fam for the holidays, we did a ton of cooking....well, I did most of it ;)
Night 1 was a seafood feast. Mom-Mom made ridiculously good Maryland steamed shrimp, Mom made amazing jumbo lump crab cakes and I made the scallop dish from the previous post, mussels with leeks and tarragon and a yummy roasted pear salad.
Check it.
For the mussels, rinse them well. Dump into a pot with a lid. Add white wine, chicken stock, a buncha taragon, and sauteed shallots, garlic and leeks. Steam until the shells open about 7-9 minutes.Make sure to season the broth with salt and pepper. Sprinkle with parsley and serve in a bowl with grilled bread. So easy. So good.
My mom's crabcakes. No filler. Just lump crabmeat and spices. So good I almost moved home. Almost.
My scallop dish from the previous post. However, I added the cream this time. Tis the season to add calories. Even my sister was impressed.
Night 1 was a seafood feast. Mom-Mom made ridiculously good Maryland steamed shrimp, Mom made amazing jumbo lump crab cakes and I made the scallop dish from the previous post, mussels with leeks and tarragon and a yummy roasted pear salad.
Check it.
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